Two major stressors of marriage are
money and family relations. Money is a big part of any
relationship. It is an especially big part of marriage, where two people
are both dependent on the same finances. Because of this, a lot of issues
and conflicts can arise from it. Most people aren't used to sharing their
income with another person when they are newlyweds, and once they start having
children, they have to spend even more money. Bernard Poduska says
"It costs about $148,000 to rear one child over a seventeen-year
period."[1]
That is a lot of money, and only for one child. In addition to paying for
children, there are other expenses such as mortgages, utility bills, medical
bills, food to buy, and other expenses. All of these can add up to a lot of
stress, especially when money is tight.
The other major stressor of
marriage, family relations, isn't as much a factor of each spouse, but their
in-laws. There are cases where the in-laws can cause conflict in the
marriage by trying to influence their son or daughter, and in the worst cases,
they can even cause divorce. In Genesis 2:24 it says
"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave
unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."[2]
The council to cleave unto your spouse can be applied to both conflicts over
money, and conflicts over family.
My wife and I are at an early stage
in our life, we don't have any children, we are still in school. There
have been times when money has been a little tight, but we have always had enough
to get by. There might come a time later in life though, where we are
under more stress. It is important to always cleave unto your spouse no
matter what. When we got married, we both knew it was for time and all
eternity, not just until the good times stop, or till we have no more
money. Coming together instead of turning away from each other during
trials is crucial to the strength of any marriage.
