Quite often as members of the
church, sexual intimacy is seen as a bad thing. Frequently, we are taught
that any sexual feelings are bad and should be blotted out or suppressed.
This can lead to problems in marriage because of differences in beliefs as to
what a sexual relationship between husband and wife should be. Because of
this, there are two very important things we need to understand. The
first being that it is important to have a sexual relationship during marriage and sex is not just for procreation but also for expressing love. Second,
we need to be able to teach our children, when the time comes, the true nature
of sexual relationships between a husband and wife.
Recently, in a religion class that
my wife and I both took at the same time, the topic of sexual intimacy in
marriage was brought up, and during the discussion, one person shared their
experiences leading up to their marriage. She said that she was taught
all her life that sex was bad and because of that, the topic became
taboo. Then before her wedding, she had a bachelorette party and all of a
sudden the topic of sex became the center for the whole evening. It
caught her really off guard and was quite a jarring experience because she was
expected to change her mindset from "something taboo" to
"encouraged."
The common misconception among
couples that sex should only be used for procreation could possibly stem from a
poor education about the topic or the way it is treated in the homes during the
younger years of most couples who are members of the church. President
Spencer W. Kimball taught that "It is the destiny of men and women to join
together to make eternal family units. In the context of lawful marriage, the
intimacy of sexual relations is right and divinely approved. There is nothing
unholy or degrading about sexuality in itself, for by that means men and women
join in a process of creation and in an expression of love.”[1]
Treating sexuality properly in our homes will help us see an increase of happiness
in our marriages, and that our children will be better prepared for when they
get married.
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