In today's world marriage is seen just as an agreement between two people. Both of these two people have their own priorities and goals. Because they aren't focused on each other, but only on themselves, they tend to only put in "their half" of the relationship. They worry about making sure that they are comfortable but tend to only focus on themselves. This kind of marriage tends to have conflicts because each spouse is committed only to themselves. They will help their spouse and will work on chores, but once they have reached what they think to be their part of the work, they will begin to complain and not want to help anymore because it is "not their responsibility." Elder Bruce C. Hafen describes this type of marriage as a "contractual marriage." He also describes a different kind of marriage where spouses focus more on each other, rather than themselves. He calls this a "covenant marriage." He also states that "Contract companions each give 50 percent; covenant companions each give 100 percent."[1]
As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we also know of another commandment in which we give 100 percent. That commandment is the Law of Consecration. When we consecrate ourselves, we dedicate our time, talents, and all that we have to building up the church. Learning to practice consecration in our marriages is what differentiates our marriage as a contractual one or a covenant one. Dr. H. Wallace Goddard also said "Marriage provides glorious opportunities to practice consecration."[2]
When my wife and I first got married, we both had to adjust to married life. We both are still in school, but before we got married we both were living in men's and women's apartments off-campus. One of the many pleasures of roommates is how great they are at cleaning up after themselves, especially in the kitchen. I definitely don't miss the days where someone would just leave all their dishes in the sink and before you know it, all the plates in the apartment are in the sink. So usually you just do your own dishes and call it good because the rest aren't your responsibility. After our marriage, we both had to change our mindset from "taking care of my own dishes" to "washing all of our dishes." It wasn't a super hard change, but it definitely had its moments where I forgot to focus on us instead of just me. When I did give it my all though, I was able to see improvements in my own happiness and in the happiness of my spouse. Being part of a covenant marriage where you both are consecrating everything to the marriage makes the difference in everyday things because you both are completely committed to the marriage.
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