As humans, we have a tendency to put ourselves above everyone else. Whether that be, what I'm doing is more important, what I need is more important, or just plain old I'm better than them. Attitudes like that are all around us, it is visible in the workspace when people take advantage of their coworkers. It is especially visible while driving when someone drives down the shoulder to pass people because they need to get somewhere faster than anyone else. It is also present at home and in marriages all over the world. Sometimes it is obvious, like when one spouse is controlling, and other times it is not as obvious, like when one spouse doesn't help with the dishes because he or she doesn't have the time to help. If not taken care of, pride can destroy any marriage.
One way that we can try to overcome pride in our marriage is by putting the needs of our spouse above our own. As we focus on them, and less on ourselves, our marriage will improve. Dr. Goddard wrote in his book Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage, "The natural man is inclined to love himself and fix others. God has asked us to do the opposite. We are to fix ourselves by repenting, and to love others."[1] At first glance, this statement sounds contradictory to what I said right before because we need to focus on our spouse and not ourselves. I think that the two statements are complimentary, because as we repent of our pride and work to make ourselves better we are actually working to improve our marriage and in turn, focusing on our spouses’ happiness.
Another important way to get rid of pride in our marriage is to realize that neither person in the marriage is perfect and that we both can help each other to improve and become better because of the different strengths each spouse has. I know that since getting married, my spouse has helped me become a better person. Soon after we got married, I noticed that I was getting all of my homework done much sooner and had a lot more free time because of it. Before I got married, I would procrastinate my homework, and then cram it all in right before it was due. My wife is very organized and really focuses on getting her homework done way before it is due usually. She has helped me become more organized and productive than I ever was before getting married. Marriage is all about that give and take of helping each other grow, and if one spouse has too much pride, then that cannot happen and the marriage will have serious problems.
May we all try to get rid of pride in our lives. As President Ezra Taft Benson said, "The antidote for pride is humility"[2]
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