In today's world, conflict in marriage often leads to divorce. Marriage has become something very replaceable. All the time couples give up on repairing their marriage because they don't think it is worth the effort, but I guarantee you it is worth the effort. There will always be some king of contention in marriage. Living with someone who was raised differently and has different habits will always cause contention between two people. Dr. H. Wallace Goddard said in his book Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage "Marriage is perfectly designed to provoke us to desperation. It will sometimes leave us injured and half-dead. Priests and Levites-or therapists and advisors-will not ultimately rescue us. They may give us helpful pointers, but they cannot change our souls."[1] Now, this isn't to say that marriage counselors can't do anything, but rather, we need to be the ones to strive to improve our marriage. Specifically, we need to try to allow the Atonement to come into our marriage. As we do so, we will be more willing to forgive, to understand, and to trust, all of which will help any struggling relationship flourish.
My wife and I have been married for almost two years. My wife and I have been through a lot together, both good and bad. Because we both are still in school, we haven't settled down anywhere, and during the past two summers, we have had to stay with both of our parents while working to save money. If that doesn't sound like a trial by fire, then I don't know what is! In all reality, it wasn't extremely tough, but it did have its moments where both of us had to grow accustomed to traditions we weren't used to in the other person's family. In the long run, I think it has actually helped us to be more understanding of one another because we are familiar with how we each were raised.
In closing, I remember what a friend of mine told me what his dad would say about his parent's marriage. Whenever they were asked how long they had been married, he would tell them the actual length of time, followed by something along the lines of "it has only felt like a few minutes, but with my head underwater!" It can feel like that sometimes, but there is a way for us to get air, or to even enjoy ourselves as long as we seek to get rid of all selfishness and strive to become the best version of ourselves, and the best friend of our spouses.
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